As my daughter is now a little over six months old, I’ve been a mom for a little over six months. Before you become a mom (or a parent for that matter), you get told a lot of things about how it’s going to be. And as will all advice and opinions, some of it you find to be true and some just plain wrong. Today, I would like to share some of the things I had been told that are complete bullshit (to me).

  1. You know how when someone else’s kid pukes all over itself or shits their diapers etc. and everybody tells you you won’t mind if it’s you own? This is just not true. Not at all.
    Granted, I’m way less grossed out by my daughter’s poop than by anybody else’s feces, but that doesn’t mean her sh** don’t stink. But I have to deal with it and willingly do so. Same with the puke. It drives me mad if she spits up most of what I just fed her and it reeks, too. But again: I have to and willingly deal with it because that’s the job and even worse than wiping milk puke off of her face and clothes (as well as mine) would be to have it stay there.
    One of the mom’s I met even said she had to throw up once when she opened her son’s diapers.
    So no, your baby’s feces don’t smell like roses to your but you deal with it nonetheless.
  2. They say that your child’s smile makes up for EVERYTHING.
    Now, I can only half argue with this, because it does. But that doesn’t stop you from thinking: “Yeah, you little shit-brick, not you’re all smiles and happy faces, but you just made me have the worst night of my life. No wait: the worst THREE nights of my life in a row and I really, really despise you for robbing me of my sleep, and my rosy skin and my waistline for that matter, and now smiling at me like nothing ever happened. But oh, fuck it, come here, let me cuddle you, you cute little fuzz-head.”
  3. Also, you’re led to believe that it won’t bother you if your own child makes a lot of noise. Again, I do not find this to be true. However, the reason may be different. With other people’s children (on the train, in a cafe, wherever), I would be annoyed because the noise kept me from listening to music, having a conversation, taking a nap etc.
    When my own daughter makes noise, it is in fact different, because it’s asking me to do something. She cries because she needs to be fed or she whines because she’s bored and wants to be entertained. Or she babbles in the early morning in her bed and I’d much rather sleep a bit more, but she’s wide awake and ready to start the day. But she also laughs hysterically when I do belly-farts on her little tummy, and she screeches with delight when I turn on her music box.
    So your own child’s noises will disturb you, but it’s because they tell you something and it’s calling you to do something. That you child is hungry or lonely or awake or having fun. It’s their way of communicating before they have words.
  4. You won’t have time for anything.
    On this one, I’m again ambivalent, because having a baby in the house is very time-consuming and absorbs a lot of your energy. Plus, I’m probably not the best person to comment on this because my baby-girl is super-chill most of the time. She will let me run the household as long as she gets to hang with me, I get to play music (as in: play an instrument, not listening to music on the radio), chat on the phone while she’s on her play-mat right next to me. I even watched all five seasons of “House of Cards” within three weeks whenever she was taking a nap. I do the weeds with her in her stroller outside with me or on a blanket on the ground, I cook with her in her high chair watching my every move, I eat my lunch while she sits on my lap. I even planned and organized my own wedding after she was born.
    So I personally can’t agree that you don’t have time for anything, but then again I’m really fortunate.
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